SCENE 2: ZhuGeliang’s house
Actors: ZhuGeliang Zhu’s Wife
ZhuGeliang: Good morning! I am the genius ZhuGeliang. But I feel so morose recently. Because my wife forced me to pass the CET-6. What’s CET-6? Do you know? You?(Ask the audience) I’ve never heart about that. And she obliged me to read so heavy books and do so many texts. It’s ridiculous. My major is military advice, not English. Why should I read this?
Wife: Darling!
ZhuGeliang：My wife is coming，she is so long-winded that I can never bear her.
Wife： My dear, how about your study?
ZhuGeliang：These books make me want to doze. I’m dizzy.
Wife： Darling! Now, competition is so serious. If you can’t pass cet6 to get your master’s degree, it is difficult to find a job. I have stayed here for half of a lifetime. But never visit a bigger place like Tianjin.(cry)
ZhuGeliang：Don’t worry, these books are too easy for your husband and don’t need to learn.
Wife： Are you sure? let me have a test to you. Listen，read and see!
ZhuGeliang：A piece of cake!
Wife： Listen, can you spell apple? Desk?
ZhuGeliang: Sorry I can’t.
Wife： You can’t? Oh, how unfortunate I am! (crying) I'm wrong, I'm really wrong, I'm wrong from the beginning. I shouldn't marry here. If I didn’t marry here, I'll never in this heartrending place now,
ZhuGeliang：Don’t cry, don’t cry, stop! I ‘m going to study hard at once.
Wife (laugh): That's the spirit! Do you know? We are in the red for your Cet6. I even borrowed money from the gate keeper. What can I do when they dun for debts.
ZhuGeliang: Are you pointing to that gatekeeper Liubei?
Wife: Oh! Yes! Come on quickly! Boy!
Keeper: What is the matter? Madam?
Wife: Listen carefully! My husband is too busy doing his homework to welcome any people, so you will tell the people who calls on him that boss has went to study in England.
Aside: While it is going on, liubei Guanyu Zhangfei have came to the gate of ZhuGeliang’s house.
场景二
诸葛老师家诸葛老师上
诸葛老师——大叫好 我就是绝顶聪明的诸葛老师 可我最近却很是郁闷 我那个娘子非要我去参加什么大学英语六级考试 六级考试是个什么东西 我怎么听都没听说过 还要我看这么厚的书 做这么多的题(拿起手里的金瓶梅给大家亮亮) 我以后可是要当军师的!!又不是这个专业的 干嘛还要要看这种书
老婆——相公(远处喊)诸葛老师老婆上(比较啰嗦)
诸葛老师——娘子来了 我娘子啰嗦的像唐僧一样 说起话来我可受不了 快老实看书(装作认真状)
老婆——相公 你的书背的怎么样了
诸葛老师——娘子啊 这些书看得我头昏眼花 光想打瞌睡
老婆——哎 相公呀 你有所不知 你看 现在外面竞争这么激烈 你要是不好好考六级 将来拿个硕士文凭 以后找不到工作可怎么办呀 我们在这个小村子里都呆了小半辈子了 你看我连稍微大一点的城市 像铁岭都没去过
诸葛老师——娘子 你看老公我这么有才华 以后还愁找不到工作么 这些书太简单了 统统不用看 (扔书)
老婆——哼 !!你说简单 那我考考你
诸葛老师——怎么 还要考我 舌战群儒我都不怕 小小考试焉能难道我(对观众说)
老婆——我要考你听写(诸葛老师郁闷状) 听着 apple怎么写 desk怎么写
诸葛老师——(不会 抓耳挠腮)
老婆——相公啊 你连这都不会 可怎么办呀 哎呀 我错了 我真的错了 我从一开始就不应该嫁过来 如果我不嫁过来 就不会流落到这么一个伤心的地方 我好后悔呀
诸葛老师——崩溃了 (捂耳朵 忙劝)
诸葛老师——娘子莫哭 娘子莫哭 相公好好看书就是
老婆——(马上变脸) 这还差不多 你知道么 为了供你读书 咱们家已经欠了外面一屁股债 连看大门的我都借过 如果这些人上门来逼债我可怎么办呀
诸葛老师——娘子 你说看大门的 ? 莫非就是呢个看大门的刘备 (抓胡子 兴奋 点头)
老婆——正是此人 书童你快过来
书童上
书童——主人 有何吩咐
老婆——书童 听着 相公近日温习功课 外人一律不见 来人就说去国外游玩讲学去了书童 遵命
旁白——话正说着 刘关张三人已经到了诸葛老师家门口
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