高中英语写作技巧(2)

英语写作指导时间：2021-08-31 手机版

　　(二)表达到位，才能言之成理

　　通常，作者对自己论述的观点是清楚的，但在将观点传达给读者时，往往因为用词不准确，逻辑欠严密，或因受中国式思维的干扰而令表达不到位，结果使读者如堕五里雾中。作者应站在读者的立场上考虑问题，始终牢记“读者明不明白”才是判断写作是否成功的最重要标准。请看以下几个表达不到位的例句及其改正方法。

　　1.They gave me what I need，but not what I want.

　　析：want可译为“想要”。从汉语角度看，整个句子是流畅的，但从英语的逻辑上看，want与need的意义极易混淆，因此整个句子意义表达不到位，含糊不清。可以改为：They have given me what I need but not What I often ask for.

　　2.Maybe there are also some disadvantages of living in a city，but I think they are less important.I feel convenient and comfortable.

　　析：句子后半部分的逻辑关系未交代清楚，令人有“前言不搭后语“的感觉。可以改为：Theere are surely disadvantages of living in a city，too，but they are less important and tend to be de-emphasized.For the sake of the advantages mentioned above，I prefer to live in a city.

　　3.Different people have different choices.Some people like living in a city and some people like living in a village.

　　析：Choice的含义十分宽泛，因此与后面的like不相称，应改为：Different people have different likes and dislikes.Some like to live in a city，others like to live in a village.

　　4.The people，the society and so on were quite different from now.

　　析：The people，the society依然不足以让读者完全理解要论述的话题，可改为：The peopIe，the society and other aspects of life were quite different from now.

　　5.Thieves should be sentenced for what they have done.

　　析：使用sentence未免言过其实，应改为：Thieves should be punished for their wrongdoing.

　　(三)简洁洗练，要言不烦

　　语言简洁有力，文风干净利落，是议论文的重要特征之一。应该指出的是，好句子并不以长短论英雄，长句未必不简洁，短句未必不哆咳。作者在写作时，只要力求做到“章无冗段，段无冗句，句无冗词”，就可改变当断不断、拖泥带水的现象。

　　1.The Are No Good Reasons Why Boys and Girls Should Not Be Treated Equally.

　　析：此为一标题句，此作者滥用双重否定，从而使句子过长。宜改为：Boys and Girls Should Be Given Equal Treatment.

　　2.For instance，I knew how to communicate with other people and how to look after myself.The most important thing was that I learn to be independent.

　　析：从意义上讲，look after myself与independent关系紧密，可以合在一起。句子可改为：For instance，I knew how to communicate with others and how to look after myself as an independent girl.

　　3.Moreover，as some girls study harder than boys，they may be even superior.

　　析：moreover后若继续用从句，就会干扰读者的思维。可改为：Moreover，some girls are very dilgent.As a result，they may prove superior to ordinary boys.

　　4.What I mean to say is that well-intentioned law-makers sometimes make fools of themselves.

　　析：what从句并未提供新信息，故可删去。句子可改为：Well-intentioned law—makers sometimes make fools of themselves.

　　三、词汇运用

　　(一)多用书面语，少用口头语

　　相对口头语而言，书面语更能增添文章的厚重感和读者对文章的信任感。下列每一组句子中，第二句都使用了书面语言，用词更加规范，因而比前一个句子略胜—筹。

　　1.We still have the social problems.

　　The same social problems still exist today.

　　2.For me，there is no need for further protection of woodlands.

　　As far as I'm concerned，further protection of woodlands is not needed.

　　3.With the development of computer technology, commercial information exchange is becoming easier.

　　Computers have greatly influenced business communication.

　　4.Everything has two sides and this problem is quite the same.

　　Everything has two sides and this issue is not an exception.

　　(二)使用连接词

　　在句子间使用连接词，能使文章脉络更加清晰，逻辑关系更加流畅。例如：

　　1.The water was polluted.As a result，the fish died.

　　2.However，others think we should have junk food.

　　3.On the other hand packaging can have many disadvantages.

　　4.Firstly many people die of passive smoking(被动吸烟)and secondly it can aggravate(使……恶化)lung diseases.

　　相关的连接词还有：On the contrary，all in all，in short，generally，worse still，on the other hand，in conclusion，as a consequence，hence，also，personally，furthermore，definitely，surely，undoubtedly，obviously，additionally，in addition，moreover，consequently，clearly，besides，as well，likewise，in my opinion，for the sake of，last but not the least，to begin with，firstly(first)，etc.

　　很多时候，一些常用的句式或句子也能承上启下，使相关的信息得到巧妙的过渡和衔接。例如：

　　The main reason is that…

　　I can't agree more.

　　Another thing we can't forget is that…

　　There is every reason to believe that…

　　As we all know…

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