2017年高考全国1卷英语作文赏析(2)

　　学生实例2

　　分数：20 河南光山二高

　　Dear Lesile

　　How are you? I have learnt your progress in your Chinese with my help and your hard work. I am writing to tell the plan that what should you do in advance.

　　First, let's make it at eight o'clock in school library. We can consulted a number of books about the subject there. Second, the next theme is about Chinese culture especially the Tang poems that are full of history and act. I believe you will be attractive once you put your heart. Third I need you to perpare some work. The Tang poems are based on the Tang dynasty

　　so you should to look through the history and great happening.

　　As the saying goes no pains, no gains. Chinese is so beautiful and difficult that you need be involved sincerely. I am looking forward to starting our study.

　　Yours，

　　Li Hua

　　点评：本文要点覆盖较全面，文章结构较清晰，有恰当的衔接词使用，长短句运用较合理;同时恰当使用了一定的常用句式及谚语，如as the saying goes，no pains，no gains等。

　　建议：1 文章要点方面，建议时间更精确些，比如具体是哪一周哪一天的8点;2 语法方面，注意细节语法的错误，如can consulted改成can consult等;3 逻辑方面，注意词和词之间的单配逻辑，如you will be attractive once you…逻辑上不是很通顺;4 单词拼写上，注意拼写的准确性，如perpare改成prepare等。

　　学生实例3

　　分数：22 日照一中

　　Dear Leslie,

　　How's it going? Have you absorbed all the knowledge I taught you last time? Now let me tell you the information of next lesson.

　　I will give the lesson on next Saturday morning, from 8:00 a.m. to 11:30 a.m. at 101 Room in the teaching building in our school.

　　We are going to learn about Tang poetry, which is an extremely important part of not only Chinese language but also Chinese culture. What you need to do in advance is to know briefly about the history of Tang Dynasty. You can consult the Internet or the books I gave you. Besides, don't forget to review what you have learned before.

　　I am looking forward to our meeting. See you next week!

　　Yours,

　　Li Hua.

　　点评：本文要点覆盖全面，行文流畅，有额外的细节添加，结构清晰紧凑，语法错误较少，运用了一定的复杂句式，如定语从句which is an extremely important part…，主语从句What you need to do in advance is…等等;同时有一定的词汇亮点如absorb，extremely替换了very等。

　　建议：句式方面，可以适当再增加一些高级句式。

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