SAT作文常见错误归纳(3)

　　错误五：过渡过于生硬，频繁使用连词

　　有些同学受雅思托福作文的影响，总是试图把引用名人事例写成了分条列点的推理结构，因此出现了非常僵化的“一二三四五”的结构。例如：

　　Firstly, when Charles was 5, his little brother drowned in their mother’s backyard laundry tub in spite of Ray’s frantic efforts to save him. Secondly, Charles’ eyes began to mysteriously fail him. By the age of 7, Charles was blind. After that, he lost his beloved mother.

　　这一段的问题非常明显，作者应该讲述一个故事，描述发生在Ray Charles身上的各种不幸，而不是一条一条的按顺序列举出他面临的困难，从而破坏了文章的连贯性(cohesion)。

　　错误六：论证过于抽象

　　有些同学仍然对于SAT作文的高分标准有着错误的认知，认为越是艰难晦涩的文字，越是高端的用词，越能够得到高分。实际上对于一篇作文而言，逻辑的清楚而深刻，用词的恰当和简洁才是更重要的。语法结构可以适当的丰富，但是并不是无限度的使用抽象用词甚至让人难以理解作者的思路。例如：

　　“However” is always being seen. Sometimes the theorem testified to be quite true can be a paradox when scrutinized from a different angle.

　　这篇作文是论证Is there always another explanation or another point of view?这个题目。可以看出，“theorem”，“paradox”，“scrutinize”等用词实际上使这个句子显得别扭而拗口。

　　Change the glasses in front of your eyes and the world can be different.

　　“Glass in front of your eyes”出现在这里有些突然。

　　It makes people’s cognizance more objective and triggers a comprehensive realization.

　　这句话里面的cognizance和realization都比较抽象，不如换成更明确表义的词语。

　　Individual is a main factor.

　　这是 Can a small group of concerned individuals have a significant impact on the world?这篇作文的开头段中的一个句子。很明显，individual究竟是什么的重要因素，在这里没有明确的指明，因而很突兀，而且空泛。　　错误七：连用小短句

　　这个错误和上一个正好相反。有些同学不善于组织各个句子间的逻辑关系，而且把很多小短句罗列在一起，虽然语法上没有什么大的失误，但是却使整个段落的结构零散而分散，缺少整体的逻辑性。例如：

　　My family used to live in a village, but my parents went to urban to work and I to study. It was a long distance, so we had to spend an average of 3.5 hours in our car everyday. We had to get up early to set out and return home late at night.

　　这个小段落里包括了五个短句来交代“我”的家庭背景，非常琐碎。

　　Liu Xiang is a famous runner in China. We have also seen him as the pride of China until recently. Back then in 2004 Olympics, Liu Xiang astonished the world by getting the first place, Chinese were so excited.

　　这个句群里一共有四个句子，交代了Liu Xiang的身份，荣誉，获奖，中国人的反映等，实际上完全可以再简练些，合并为两个到三个长句。